Love In The Hard

The Divine Refining: How God Reshapes Our Dreams Without Destroying Them

• Cindi and Patrick Pistelli • Season 1 • Episode 16

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We explore the complex journey of reconciling our long-held dreams with our evolving core values, using my personal Florida dream as a lens to understand divine refinement of our goals.

• When two beautiful dreams pull in different directions 
• When goals don't align with your core values, your soul will resist - that's not failure, it's feedback
• Our brains often protect us from the unknown through procrastination and delay
• Discerning between red flags and just unfamiliar terrain requires alignment, grit, and consistency
• Finding ways to reshape dreams instead of abandoning them completely
• Taking your vision and laying it before God with open hands rather than demands
• Using journaling to clarify thoughts and reveal what's truly in your heart
• Refining dreams is about aligning them with truth, not shrinking them

Take 20 minutes this week to sit quietly with God and ask Him to help you with your vision. Journal your dream and evaluate whether it aligns with your values, season, purpose, and peace.


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Speaker 1:

Today's podcast title is why You've Let Go of your Dreams and how to Reclaim them. You see, you're not lazy, you're not lost. You're just navigating what matters most. So let's realign your dreams with your values and God's vision. Hey friends, welcome to Love in the Heart, where we share our journey of resilience, faith and transformation, diving into raw real-life challenges like overcoming past trauma, self-doubt and building a strong, loving family, all with the hope of inspiring others to seek God's hand in their own stories.

Speaker 2:

We are Patrick and Cindy Pistelli, and we are here to remind you that you are not alone. There's hope even when life feels tough. So grab a seat and let's get real.

Speaker 1:

Hey friend, welcome back. So today I want to talk about something that's been on my heart in a very big way lately, and maybe you'll find yourself in this too. So today I want to talk about goals, dreams, and why sometimes we stop chasing them. And I don't mean the kind of goals we scribble down on January 1st, I'm talking about the deep dreams, you know, the ones that feel sacred, the ones that light up your imagination and make your heart whisper what if? But then life hits, responsibilities hit, and suddenly that dream feels so far away or maybe like it no longer fits with the life you're trying to build. So I want to tell you something that's very real.

Speaker 1:

So for years I have had this dream about moving to Florida. I have had this dream since I was a kid, that one day I am going to pack everything up and I'm going to move to Florida and I'm going to have a life there. And I don't know if that comes, because I was born in Florida. I don't know if that comes from a dream that my dad had about moving back to Florida. I'm not really sure where that dream came from, but that's been a dream of mine for so many years. And you know, patrick now has that dream and I don't know if it's actually his dream or if he's just picking up that dream, because it was my dream, but he added to it and he wanted to live part of the year, maybe three months out of the year, or summer, in Hawaii. So you know, it's something that we can picture so clearly. You know, being barefoot in the morning, taking walks on the beach, writing and speaking from that place of peace and rest and beauty and time, freedom, and that dream is so real and is still in our hearts. But lately we've been wrestling with something, because we also deeply value being close to our kids and eventually our grandkids, and the thought of being so far away from family just really tugs at us. So it doesn't sit as peacefully as it once did. So here's what I want to unpack today what do you do when two beautiful dreams pull in different directions, when your desire for freedom seems to compete with your desire for family? So here is what I have learned when your goals don't align with your core values, when your goals don't align with your core values, your soul will actually resist. So that's not failure, that's feedback. It's not the dream is wrong, it might just need to be refined. We have a saying in the coaching class that I'm taking, and it's just that it's not failure, it's feedback.

Speaker 1:

In Proverbs 29, 18, it says where there is no vision, the people perish. And sometimes that vision we used to have no longer fits the version of life we're called to now. That doesn't mean we're giving up on the dream. It just means we're making room for the values that matter the most. So you know now listen, sometimes procrastination happens because we are out of alignment, but other times it's not misalignment at all, it's our brain protecting us from the unknown. Your nervous system might say this dream feels a little too risky, this is unfamiliar, this might hurt if it fails. And so we delay, we shrink back and we stay in the mud. But just because something feels uncomfortable doesn't mean it's wrong. Sometimes we need to push through the muddy water to find the spring.

Speaker 1:

In Hebrews 12, 11, it says no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful Later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness. It says so, yes, alignment absolutely matters, but so does grit, and so does consistency. So does discernment. Asking you know, is this a red flag or is this just unfamiliar terrain? So for us, we're asking those questions right now, you know, can we still have a piece of that Hawaii, florida dream? Could it look like long visits instead of full relocation? Can we find ways to have both rest and relationships? You know, both freedom and family and honestly we don't know the full answer to that yet. But I know that we're not going to give up on the dream. So, you know, right now we are surrendering that to God for reshaping. I can tell you that I'm hoping that God says, yes, that is still the dream, and he is going to put it in our kids' hearts to do that too.

Speaker 1:

But how many of us know, as parents, our dreams don't always align with what our kids' dreams are and it's hard sometimes to let them go and let them, you know, find the passions that they have and live out the dream that they have for their life. One thing I do tell my kids all the time is if you have a dream, get out and do it. You know, especially now they don't have kids. You know you're not tied to where you are right now. So go pursue some of those dreams before. Maybe you can't, not that you ever can't, but it's a lot more difficult when you have kids and you have full responsibility for things. So it's much easier when you're younger and when you don't have those responsibilities, to go and explore and see what aligns with you.

Speaker 1:

So Psalms 37, four says delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. So I believe that this means that if we stay rooted in Him, he will shape our desires and show us how to walk them out in a way that not only honors Him but also what we love the most. So I have an invitation for you today okay, I want you to rebirth the dream, but I want you to ask God to refine it. So, and if you're thinking, okay, but how do I actually do that? I'm just going to walk you through it. So it starts by taking that vision, the one that's been in your heart, and laying it before God with open hands, not saying God, make this happen, but saying, god, is this from you? Show me how to walk it out in a way that honors you and aligns with the life that you've called me to, and if it's not from you, change my heart. I have had to do that several times because there were a lot of dreams that I wanted and it was something where maybe it wasn't what he's actually called me to. And I've said, lord, if this isn't from you, just change my heart, take it away, change the desire that I have to, you know, be in Florida, to be in Hawaii, whatever that looks like. Change that desire and I will say he is starting to do that for me.

Speaker 1:

I love Florida, I absolutely love Florida, and I have had, like I said, I have had this dream since I was little, to live there, to have a life there. But lately I have only seen bad things about Florida, and there are a lot of wonderful things about Florida, but I'm what I'm talking about is there's a lot of things that can kill you in Florida. So the things that I'm seeing lately are, you know, the alligators, the snakes, the. I just found out that there's scorpions in Florida. So the things that I'm seeing lately are, you know, the alligators, the snakes, the. I just found out that there's scorpions in Florida. I had no idea. So you know the different things the bears I love bears, but I really don't want one getting into my house or, you know, walking out to my car and being confronted with one, so, little by little, he's starting to change the way I, the way I view it. Is that going to change the desire in my heart? It hasn't yet. I still have that desire for sure. But it does change how I view it and maybe it's not as magical as I picture in my mind. So, you know, sometimes it looks like sitting in prayer and just asking you know what part of this dream still excites me, what part of this feels heavy or like it's no longer mine, and am I trying to force a version of the dream you never asked me to carry? Other times it looks like journaling it out.

Speaker 1:

You've heard us say time and time again about journaling. That's such an important thing because it really helps you to just get your thoughts on paper and be able to see them. So we don't hold back when we're journaling, when we're writing something down. It just comes straight from our mind onto our paper. And I love when you can journal like that, when you have the safety and security of being able to journal like that, because you can really really truly see, start to see what's in your heart.

Speaker 1:

So I want to take a moment right now. If you're in a quiet space, if you're not. You know, obviously, come back to this part later, when you are. But I want you to close your eyes and I want you to take in a deep breath. And now I want you to picture this You're standing in a field and in your hands you're holding a box Inside. This box is your dream. Maybe it's something you've held on to for years, maybe it's gotten a little dusty, or maybe you've been clinging to it so tightly that your fingers ache. And now I want you to look up and you see Jesus standing in front of you and you slowly offer him the box. He takes it from your hands, not to throw it away, but to open it with you, but to open it with you, and he begins gently removing the things that were never yours to carry the pressure, the pride, the perfectionism, the parts of the dream that were rooted in fear or comparison. And what's left? Something lighter, something clearer, something better than you imagined. That's what refining looks like, friend. It's not about shrinking the dream, it's about aligning it with the truth, god's truth, so that you can run your race with peace and not panic.

Speaker 1:

In Habakkuk 2.2, write the vision and make it plain so that he who reads it may run. So write it again, but this time write it with Jesus. So here's your challenge this week time, write it with Jesus. So here's your challenge this week I want you to take 20 minutes this week, just 20 minutes, and sit quietly with God, have him help you with your vision, have him help you with your dream, and ask him is this my dream? Is this a dream that you've put in my heart, or is this something that you never asked me to have? You know? Ask him to align with you. I want you to journal your dream, what you see, what you long for, and then I want you to write a second column and ask does this align with my values, my season, my purpose, my peace? And if something feels off, don't throw the whole dream away, but ask God to show you the next right place.

Speaker 1:

Friends, sometimes the dream changes, but that doesn't mean it's dead. Sometimes God makes it even more beautiful than we've ever imagined. But you won't know that unless you're willing to loosen your grip and invite him in. So go ahead, rebirth the dream, refine it with God, and remember that you are allowed to evolve. You're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to dream differently in the season that you did in the last, and you're never too late, not for the dream, not for the shift and not for the story that God's writing in you. So, friends, I love you and I am praying this week brings clarity and not confusion. I'm praying that it brings peace, not pressure, and I'm praying that the courage to dream again will open your hands. So until next time, love is worth it, even in the hard. God bless, miss a new episode. Please take time to leave a review, especially if you listen on Apple Podcasts. This will help more people access honest conversations about building lasting relationships, resilience through life's hardest moments and mindset shifts to overcome self-doubt.

Speaker 2:

And if you're really feeling it, go ahead and screenshot this episode on your phone and share it on social media. Tag us at Loving the Hard on Facebook and Instagram and we'll be sure to reshare your post. Thanks again for listening. We'll see you next time.